So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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