the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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