If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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