I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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