I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
