I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
