Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
