My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
