The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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