i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
