Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
