I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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