i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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