clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
