Im at strip club and am horny
I hate your face
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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