I'm eating all of the evidence.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
