So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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