ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
