Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
