I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
