3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize