I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
