He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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