so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
