When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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