I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
