We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
