when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
