The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
