im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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