barbara walters just said penis...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
