Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
