A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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