we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
