he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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