i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
