im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
