you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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