i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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