Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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