First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
