We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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