I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
