how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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