so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
