Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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