i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
