Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
