You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
