i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
