in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
