Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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