Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
