Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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