we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
