why didn't you poke me back
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
