I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
