Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
