porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How external is "for external use only"?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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